Wednesday, October 05, 2011

snozzcumber and frobscottle-- how to get bfgeezy in two simple steps

if you're a tall person like me you've probably been waiting for the food from the bfg*. ok, probably not but i needed an opening paragraph and, seeing as how i'm still sick, that's the best that you're gonna' get.

the cookbook* has two entries for this particular book, snozzcumbers and frobscottle. since snozzcumbers are the grossest sounding of the two (i mean, say it out loud.), i'll start with that recipe. it involves hollowing out a cucumber!

and then placing it in a glass to drain.

 i used my natty bo glass as that beer's mostly water anyway. *ba doom ching*

anyway, the reason for coring the cuke is so that it can be stuffed with a tuna salad. (that's a tuna mayonnaise if you're british. (see, i'm bilingual. heh.))

i'll be honest. if i was presented with this

i would probably refuse to eat it. which is why i cut it up all sushi style before asking leff to try it.

in the book, the nonhuman-eating bfgiant says that snozzcumbers taste of "...cockroaches and slime wranglers". his friend/captive (stockholm syndrome much?) sophie went with "...frogskin and rotten fish". when asked about his snozzcumber experience, leff was not quite as flamboyant with his description settling for "...tuna fish with cucumber".

so there's that.

moving on! since i have been known to enjoy a good fart joke on occasion, i was really looking forward to the frobscottle. see, both sophie and the bfg drank it when they were bored to...uh, enliven(?) their evening through, you know, propulsive farting.

look, i've had three live in bfs, many male roommates and a brother. their choice in amusement wasn't surprising to me. what was a bit startling was how good kiwi

tasted when blitzed with raspberry lemonade! (i'm not really a fan of kiwi, you understand.)

it was kinda' like a green raspberry smoothie. green as in chlorophyll-ish, not as in unripe.

sadly, it did not 'cause leff to fart into the stratosphere but i suppose it's for the best. i mean, who wants to explain to a roof repair-person that the damage they're fixing was caused by bfgas?

next week on roald dahl stunt blogging:  there might be a slight possibility of a double book post! OR that fox food might finally show up! (it depends on whether or not i can finally get my hands on a copy of the damn book!)

*links will take you to amazon. i am an amazon affiliate. should you purchase the bfg or roald dahl's revolting recipes through these links, i will receive monetary compensation.

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