Monday, October 31, 2011

stencils at night

as promised, here is everything back lit. yay!





hope you had a great halloween!

daytime decorations plus lit lanterns

this year's decorations are now in situ!


the large stencils look more impressive at night. check out past years here: 1, 2

and here's the class photo of 2011's halloween lanterns all lit up and reflecty.



night shots of the house will be available as soon as the sun sets! check back later!

a very wonka halloween

you knew that i had to save the charlie and the chocolate factory* sections from revolting recipes* until halloween, right? aw! you've paid attention!

as is only right for this holiday (and, oh yes, it IS TOO a holiday) there are many sweet things. i'll keep the descriptions short since we have a lot of ground to cover.

let's get started with butterscotch.


milky! frothy! it really reminded me of those tiny bottles of drinkable yogurt that can be purchased at good asian grocery stores. so, fantastic! but, um, not an entire british pub glass worthy of fantastic. 


the next treat is supposed to be a toffee apple tree but i ended up making a bit more of a toffee apple shrub.


i didn't have a melon baller so i had to dip apple chunks into caramel instead of nice, uniform balls of apple. sad, really, as it would have been pretty and i could have said balls some more.

balls.

beware!


the wonka nutty crunch surprises are too delicious. (even if i had to slightly tweak the recipe to make them work.) you know how fudge and caramel are not the same? that's a good thing 'cause they taste great together.

not a good thing:  strawberry flavored chocolate fudge.


it might be because i'm not 10 years old though. (god, it was so sweet!)

time for two install shots as we've gotten to lickable wallpaper. i didn't bother with the recipe at all as, well, fruit leather exists. it is also sticky on the back as you can see.


"and it looks pretty cool when it's backlit!" quoth the raven.


i stenciled store bought icing onto said fruit leather


but i didn't lick it 'cause, come on.

beware again!  the hot ice cream for cold days is a serious desert!


it's basically a baked alaska which, shit, i'm never gonna kick out of bed. (ha. hahaha.)

hair toffee candy is supposed to help bald men grow hair but at least one of mine ended up impersonating the flying spaghetti monster instead of substituting for rogaine.


behold stickjaw!


it's meringue with a hidden bit of stickiness due to the addition of a caramel inside. (you can see it oozing out of a couple of them in the above photo.)  i'm not sure if it shuts people up or not but i've sent some to leff's coworkers. perhaps they'll let me know. or not, depending on whether or not their jaws are stuck.

another recipe that i did not follow was the candy coated pencils for sucking in class.


i cheated by wrapping fruit leather around the pencils and then dipping them in chocolate and sprinkles/jimmies/hundreds and thousands.  leff said they tasted like eraser but this skull wasn't complaining.

video

and so ends roald dahl stunt blogging! (yes, without an eatable pillow. look, i made a twit head and we didn't eat it. i couldn't justify the waste of a gross ass marshmallow pillow. bleah.)

 i'll have another series of stunt posts starting, more than likely, after thanksgiving. check back soon!

*links will take you to amazon. i am an amazon affiliate. should you purchase charlie and the chocolate factory or roald dahl's revolting recipes through these links, i will receive monetary compensation.

big halloween posts coming soon!

i've got a slew of posts coming up today! until everything is ready, however, enjoy these two holiday themed pax and ak paintings, a halloweiner


and a cheetah, cheetah, pumkin eatah.


check back throughout the day! there will be lots of sweets!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

double bonus sunday post: zombie hand cookies

i had left over cookie dough from the zombees so i decided to make some zombie hand cookies in anticipation of the new "walking dead" and halloween.



have i mentioned how much i love halloween eve? it's so much better than that xmas shit.

bonus sunday post: two more xl stencils and the last lantern of the year

I've yet to complete all four stencils that are needed to decorate my house but here are two more to add to the totoro that you've already seen. the catbus


and some dust bunnies.


i'll have all four completed and installed tomorrow so please check back for daytime installation shots. (night shots will be a bit late 'cause, you know, i don't control the sun. yet.)

and here's the last of the lanterns! the witch from "snow white".


if you'd like to see the entire bunch, check out this set. otherwise, lit group and install shots will be forthcoming.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

saturday stunt blog: the twits

what's this? a revolting recipe*on a saturday? told you you'd see more roald dahl sooner than you'd think.

there were three entries for the twits in the dahl cookbook, bird pie, wormy spaghetti and twit beard food (which i renamed "twit head" (i'm sure you're not surprised by that.)). i'll tackle them in that order.

sooo, bird pie! pretty tasty! and, like a pie that michael mentioned to me about a month ago, it had bird feet sticking out of it.

the cookbook, thankfully, didn't suggest sticking real bird feet into pastry (because, no). instead it opted for pipe cleaners. see, that would be a great idea if i lived somewhere where i could purchase things like pipe cleaners but you know what the seattle area is like. yeah, devoid of personality. oops! i mean, it won't ever give you what you need! my workaround was stick candy (which begs the question, why can i find stick candy but not pipe cleaners?!)


and japanese candy paste that chotda had sent to me from guam.


the rest of the pie was fairly straightforward. i made a pastry dough instead of using puff pastry but whatevs. (it was really 'cause i was broke not 'cause i was trying to be all fancy and shit.)


i even added a little pastry worm to follow through on concept. awwww. here it is prebaking


and after about 30 minutes in a 400 degree F/roughly 205 C oven.


the worm is much cuter than the feet, imho.


it also tasted better 'cause, bleah, meaty candy.

i have to confess. i cheated with the wormy spaghetti. there's a tasty sounding sauce in the book but, honestly, i couldn't be arsed.


i did grate the cheese and carrot though so that's something, right?


another substitution? dyed green spaghetti instead of spinach spaghetti. 'cause, jesus christ, you would think  you could find damn vegetable pasta in a supposedly health conscious part of the country, wouldn't you? you would be wrong. (i am rolling my eyes so far back in my head that i can see last week.)


but i digress. let's finish off this post with a twit head. i made it a little too small because i wasn't expecting anyone to eat this. i mean, mashed potatoes,


mushrooms, bread crusts, boiled egg, jalapeno


capers, smoked turkey sausage, pretzel sticks, chow mein noodles, peas, cheese, corn flakes and lumps of white bread teeth? uh, pass.


it does look sort of like martin clunes as the wolf man though so i don't regret making it.

next time on roald dahl stunt blogging:  we finish with a bang on halloween with all of the charlie and the chocolate factory recipes! CANDY, BITCHES!!

*links will take you to amazon. i am an amazon affiliate. should you purchase the twits or roald dahl's revolting recipes through these links, i will receive monetary compensation.

Friday, October 28, 2011

xl stencil season has begun!

no old photo today. instead, yay! time to make decorations for the outside of the house! this year i'm going with a ghibli theme.


(here are all of the other xl stencils that i've made. there are also some install shots.)

and, what's this? an extra lantern, sweetie dahlings.


i'll have more xl stencils to post on sunday with a proper install shot on monday.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

bonus thursday post: zombee cookies

i've been watching too much "walking dead" 'cause i've got zombies on the brain. (not literally, of course. i mean, ouch.)

anyway, you know me and puns and halloween? yeah? here are some zombee cookies if you don't believe me.

zombees love honey.


they also swarm.


there are also spelling (zom)bees.


ok, i'm done for today.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

george's marvelous medicine for an enormous crocodile

good news on the cookbook* front today. it's that fabled double post that i've been promising you since forever! which two books will i be mashing up? why, george's marvelous medicine* and the enormous crocodile*. there's no rhyme or reason to it so don't try to foist some sort of lit crit shit on my decision.

anyway, let's get to the alchemy of the marvelous medicine. in theory, the way to grow extra tall grans and giant chickens is to start with a basic soup. this requires leeks,


mushrooms


and some boiling.

that is not the magical part, however. uh uh, no siree, no ma'am. that requires household chemicals.

do i really need to provide you with a disclaimer? are you so stupid that you think i put the following items into food? god, this is the states, so here goes.


DISCLAIMER:  I DID NOT PLACE THESE HOUSEHOLD CHEMICALS INTO THE SOUP. IT CAN KILL OR, AT THE VERY LEAST, FUCK YOU UP IN A BAD WAY. IDIOT.

i am, however, going to play like i did (even though i didn't (and you shouldn't either.)(moron.))


when leff ate his soup


he didn't grow about 20 feet.  it was quite disheartening as i could have made some serious, much needed dosh charging people to see him.  i think next time i'll add some housepaint for good measure. (ugh, I WON'T REALLY BE ADDING HOUSEPAINT, YOU TWAT!)

thankfully, the next bit of dahl food is not magically delicious so i can dispense with disclaimers. my version is a bit odd, however, as one can never acquire the exact item that one needs in the seattle area. case in point, to make an enormous crocodile, one must start with a baguette. this is the available seatacky version.


sigh... i'd like to think i've grown used to the constant deficiencies in this region but, who are we kidding?

surprisingly, i did manage to procure six eggs which i then boiled and olived


and turned into egg salad croc innards.


i then breaded, spinached, artichoked, pickled, almonded and turkey baconed the shit out of the "baguette" to make this.


a really wonky ass enormous tiny crocodile. turkey bacon tongue!

coming up on roald dahl stunt blogging:  there may be a surprise post or two sooner than you think!

*links will take you to amazon. i am an amazon affiliate. should you purchase george's marvelous medicine , the enormous crocodile or roald dahl's revolting recipes through these links, i will receive monetary compensation.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

bonus tuesday post: two more lanterns

halloween decorations are progressing nicely. have you figured out that this is my "high holy holiday" without all of the familial guilt/regret and religion yet? well, if you haven't, it's my "high holy holiday" without all of the familial guilt/regret and religion.

anyway, here're the two more lanterns from the title, cartoon samatha from "bewitched"



and a jessica fletcher looking suitably demonic.