Tuesday, December 31, 2013

blah, etc, end of year blah

enjoy that thing you're doing on new year's eve/day. i will be continuing my quest to get rid of shit i don't want to move anymore. found these ancient slides of mine (pre jpg days, natch) while i was looking for stuff to burn.

(they're not going up in flames. it's a good idea to keep some documentation of past work.)

resolutions? 1) move out of the cesspit that is the seattle area. 2) things i can't talk about yet. (nothing nefarious.) 3) get to asia, south america 4) go to airwaves, clockenflap, etc (nothing domestic though.) 5) etc, etc, etc

i've got things to burn now. see you in 2014.

Monday, December 30, 2013

lemon sticks!

the other day rachel posted about lemon sticks on her instagram. HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT LEMON STICKS?! they are sold at flower mart every spring in baltimore and they are delicious! all minty, sweet and sour at the same time plus aesthetically and olfactorily pleasing as well.

if you want to pretend you are in the land of the two johns (waters, hopkins) you will need three things:  1) soft peppermint sticks. *not* candy canes. they need to be the chalky kind. i got some king leo but get whatever brand you want. just remember that they *do* need to be chalky, old skool peppermint sticks that crumble between your teeth when you bite them.

2) lemons 3) a knife

from there, it's simplicity itself. i only made half lemon sticks but to make a proper one, just cut the top off a lemon and jam a peppermint stick into it. maybe you will score the lemon innards first to make it easier to jam in the peppermint stick? i dunno' what you're like. go crazy. live a little.

then the best part. use the peppermint stick like a straw. easy, peasy, squeeze the lemon? yeah, you just might. 

Sunday, December 29, 2013

slow end to a crap year

lemon poppy seed muffins,

a sleepy tabby

and three kinds of curry.

that is how this year ends.

Friday, December 27, 2013

the day after

things have been incredibly low key here the past few days.

we watched this year's "big fat quiz" (bright spot: kristen schaal!!). but it was kinda' underwhelming, if i'm honest.

something decidedly not underwhelming is the panopticon which i cannot read fast enough. it is wonderful but maybe not for everyone. i dunno'. maybe you like quiet books? if so, it is not for you.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

as festive as it gets

the stuff in this blender was unintentionally layered in a festive way. for all intents and purposes WE ARE DONE WITH XMAS BULLSHIT. in fact, we've already recycled the holiday cards and are ready for the new year.

one positive: if i can make it one more day, i'll have managed to go an entire american holiday season without hearing a fucking xmas carol! it was not easy. (ed note: for the remainder of  the holiday, i will mostly be avoiding the internet so if you try to rickroll me with some burl ives shit or whatever, i'm not clicking.)

Monday, December 23, 2013

yay! new arm warmers!

finally got a pair of my favorite arm warmers in the world!

with this and my new hat, i am SO ready for this trip in feb.

stuffed sherlock coats

since i already had the sweet stuff covered for the upcoming "sherlock" party (blind baker cookies, iou cupcakes), i thought it might be nice to make something a bit more on the savory side. so i cut some trench coat shapes out of phyllo dough and stuffed them with a fig preserve and goat cheese filling. (ok, so it's not exactly savory. so what.)

then i added some turkey bacon scarves. (if you want to make these, you could probably use real bacon or even the veggie version. basically, if you can scarf it, it will more than likely work.)

et voilla! a stuffed sherlock coat! i will have to make more because i had this one for lunch. (i looove fig preserves and goat cheese.)

leff made a slightly different version which i will link to as soon as he uploads. it's adorable.

all sherlock tat for this party can be seen in this handy dandy set. i am *so* ready for the new season to start!

Saturday, December 21, 2013

christmas crackers! cheez-it edition

at first, i had a hard time convincing leff that homemade cheez-its were a good idea. see, at his job they measure profit in boxes of cheez-its. (he's on vacation and does not want to be reminded of work.(also, i know that is a weird way to measure profit. i guess you had to be there.))

but then i read the recipe to him. and then he smelled them baking. and now we have none left from the half batch that i made.

i will be making another batch of these before peter capaldi's "doctor who" day rolls around. maybe half of them with added sage? maybe a quarter of them with added chili pepper? i just don't know. i *do* know that they are freakin' delicious though. you should make some.

Friday, December 20, 2013

christmas crackers! everona market edition

leff and i are serious anglophiles. NOT THE CREEPY KIND, i swear. we don't care about monarchy, we're just in it for the tv (and british men (ok, ha, that's just me.))

anyways, this uk bidness means we're aware of christmas crackers. and i thought, oh ho ho! oh, what pun/ it'd be if we tried/to bake up some word play. HEY! (christ, that's tortured. sorry.) what if we baked crackers at christmas...GEDDIT...christmas crackers...ah, god, what am i like.

after a bit of searching i came across this very adaptable everona market recipe. ("everona market!" says i to leff. "familiar!" says he as we have both spent a considerable amount of time in the va/dc/md area.)

the recipe gives directions for both the food processing method as well as the hand mashing varietal. we went with the hands on approach. here's leff crumbling in some butter.

and cutting!

and poking. pricking? forking! ha! they can all sound lewd!

they bake in a 450 F oven, erm, quick math, about 177 c? gas mark what? probably 4, anywhere from 6-10 minutes (which is the same in metric, wah waaah) with a quick rotation in between. (leff kept saying "LET'S ROTATE THE BOARD!" every time he did it.)

all of this will yield some fantastic crackers! about 100? i don't know we kept eating them before i could count them all.

we'll be trying some more recipes in the next few days. check back soon, crackalacka!


holidays are infinitely more tolerable with an avian friend around. absolute truth.


Thursday, December 19, 2013

sherlock apple cupcakes

it's not too easy to come up with food ideas for a "sherlock" viewing party. holmes doesn't really eat. i mean, leff and i could sit around wearing multiple nicotine patches but what fun would that be? (ok, fun. i miss nicotine.)

then i remembered the apple that moriarty carved in season 2. and, after a bit of googling, i came across this great idea for apple cupcakes. you can kinda tell where i am going with this, yes?  oh, come on, you've already read the title of this post.

so, yes! sherlock apple cupcakes! the cake itself is apple flavored to keep with concept. (i halved this recipe.) the icing is a basic cream cheese icing that i added maple syrup and ginger to. (how seasonal. no recipe though, sorry.)  red is made from purchased red sanding sugar, obvs. leaves are mint.

so, do u o me? no. but go ahead and make these for any sherlock party you have. after all, that's what people DO!

reminder:  all "sherlock" party stuff can be seen in this set.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

almost ready to make some more things

hang in there, fans of stuff i make. things have started to ease up here. we've booked all hotels (except berlin) and made all major transportation purchases (barring a side trip to the sedlec ossuary.) i am able to walk without a terribly pronounced limp now. (thanks to those of you who checked on me during FRACTURE 2013. it would have been sehr lonely without you.) i can tell someone that i want to have a drink at their place in german now! (or is it :/ ?)

etc and etc and etc.

so what's upcoming? a small thing for xmas day. two more small things for the new year. odds and ends if i can squeeze them in between trip planning and reading a constellation of vital phenomena. (oh god. READ THAT. i cannot believe it's a first novel.)

basically, the standard sort of stuff that i normally do.

but why are you still here? you've got that anthony marra book to read! and "hanna" to watch! and that new caitlan moran show is premiering on dec 23 which...might be good? idk. imma' give it a shot.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

krampus cookies

leff and i collaborated on this. i made krampus cookies (started with the same cutter that made upgraded, thug life), leff made paper snowflakes.

then i sang part of the krampus song when i was delivering leff's cookie to him.

yah yah yah yah yaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Saturday, December 14, 2013

cat rage

peel, not a fan of scarves.

(clouseau, conversely, does not mind them.)

gruss vom krampus!

three little vintage style krampuses found themselves getting cut out of those stacks of black and white paper i'm trying to use up before we move.

we all watched the english dubbed version of "sherlock hound" (not pictured) while they (but not me) got lit.

in the end, they looked much happier than last year's krampus. (that may become my insult du jour. "you are as grumpy as last year's krampus.")

Thursday, December 12, 2013

i decorated for the holidays! >:D

fuck those holiday parties you may or may not be avoiding (oh, I AM AVOIDING), "hanna" is so good. so very, very good. (well, ok there are plot holes and etc but stylistically, i am in LUUUUUUV.) rent it. RENT IT NOW SKIP YOUR HOLIDAY PARTY TO WATCH IT

also on repeat at the casa until the holiday season is over is "all about eve". i cannot think of a better holiday movie than this. perhaps "mommie dearest"? ok, also "whatever happened to baby jane?". basically, holidays are MADE for davis/crawford. and "hanna".  (HANNA 4EVAH is now tattooed on my shriveled black heart.)

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

i now have a hat

so my dad says to me, he says "where are you going in feb?!"

"chicago, berlin, prague, amsterdam."

 he is incredulous. we come from fairly warm latitudes, are a thin blooded tribe.

"you will be needing a hat." he deadpans.

this arrived in the mail today. "merry christmas" was all the card said.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

such stuff as dreams are made on

last night's dream. i was in some guy's library. randomly picked up a book the title of which was 40 days of knitted butts.

first sentence in the introduction? "ass yourself a question."

Sunday, December 08, 2013

would you like a hipsturbian song played on a dulcimer to go with your artisanal nutella?

yeah, it's happened. i have made nutella. how hipster wanky can it GET here? (answer: crazy hipster wanky, apparently.)

 anyway, toasted hazelnuts +

melted chocolate +

other stuff in this recipe yields quite a bit of the hazelnut stuff.

leff proclaimed it to be "sweet as a nut, mate!" which is a good thing esp when he says it this way.

Saturday, December 07, 2013

the blind baker

as i mentioned in an earlier post, i'm trying to get ahead with holiday/party baking. today i made some "blind baker" cookies. you know, a cookie silhouetted version of the defaced painting from "the blind banker".

here are two of the cookies waiting to be baked. (the dark is chocolate and the yellow is lemon flavored)

and here's a finished cookie.

yeah, the "spraypaint" got a little toasty on the edges but i'm ok with it. 'cause  toasty edges or not, that cookie is still a dead man come jan 1.

(by that i mean i'm going to eat it. (currently freezing like a stiffsicle at the moment.))

reminder:  all the stuff for the upcoming "sherlock" party can be seen in this set.

some misc saturday stuff

finally got our stamps delivered! (not to be a usps shill but you guys know that the post office will deliver stamps and shipping supplies TO YOUR HOUSE saving you from having to stand in that miserable holiday line, right? HIGHLY RECOMMEND) we are now ready to send out a ton of christmas cash.

since it's still bitterly cold, the baking continues. yesterday i made some moody lemon bars (recipe)

and the day before i made a loaf of rye. (recipe)

today i'll probably make some cookies for the sherlock party. (cookies freeze well and i have the time. (well, i will if i stop looking at pictures of prague.))

Thursday, December 05, 2013

tiger who came to tea, erm, tea

i've been on a bit of a judith kerr kick since watching "hitler, the tiger and me". i'm most of the way through when hitler stole pink rabbit (highly recommend) and have fallen absolutely head over heels in love with her illustration style. so much so that i had a tiger tea with some orange flavored tiger cookies.

if you have not read the tiger who came to tea and are unable to get your hands on a copy, maybe watch this video. (i really like how that guy does the tiger's voice.)

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

rereading "the prince"...

...eating deviled eggs.

(brought about after watching this. (pcap. eegads, he's lovely in that.))

Tuesday, December 03, 2013


leff and i screamed about this for about five minutes over im because ha! you CANNOT get a fucking bagel in seattle. ugh, whatever. i have this recipe now, life is almost worth living.

four regular, four everything (which is really just poppy seed, sesame seed and caraway seed. look, i could not make it seedier without going outside.)

here's one boiling.

here are some waiting to be boiled.


to reiterate I FUCKING MADE BAGELS and they're crispy on the outside, chewy on the inside and so, SO not just a goddamned bun with a fucking hole in it like the shit you can buy here. BEST PLACE ME *eats bagel, sighs happily*

baking. again.

it's december which means, fucking hell, it's cold. regular readers know that i take the chill off by baking. last night i made cinnamon swirl bread since i'd seen ac make a loaf of it.

good recipe but i needed about 1/2 cup more of flour than was called for. ymmv.

today i'll probably make a loaf of rye or the sandwich bread which has become a staple around here lately. maybe crackers? idk, i'm thinking there's going to be some cracker action soon.

Monday, December 02, 2013

holiday chores

i will say one thing in favor of having a fractured foot, you are so immobile and bored that you will knock out your holiday cards extra early.

as i'm perpetually cash strapped (you don't go into my line of work if you are planning on retiring (unless you are damien hirst (who i am not, obvs))), i have to kinda'...fix...some of my stock to be appropriate to the season. this is how i end up making a tortuous pun like "deck the ball with drawn on holly, bwahhahahaha-haha-hahaaaaaaaa".

hey, you work with what you've got. (you should see how bad the jokes are on the other cards. :/)

(yes, that is the "blue ball". heh.)

two more sherlock things

here're two more "sherlock" things and we'll take a break until closer to the program air date. mycroft, sherlock, john, moriarty and lestrade silhouettes on top of the tv

and our shower curtain which has been temporarily modified.

i bought this shower curtain (without added smiley) about six or seven years ago so i have no idea where or if one could still purchase it. sorry. (someone usually asks where i got it. *shrug*)

reminder: all sherlock images in handy set for your perusal. 

Sunday, December 01, 2013

yorick and his paper deerstalker

continuing with the sherlock business, today i made yorick a paper deerstalker.

here are directions if you have a skull that you need to behat.