Thursday, December 18, 2014


sometimes you get an appreciation award from the mayor and you wonder wtf you're supposed to do with it. you did nothing extraordinary. you don't like public recognition. hell, you don't like private recognition when it's not warranted. and this was not warranted.

just thought you guys would find this amusing. i certainly do.

when you accidentally order 10 pounds of peppers... roast them and then freeze them.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

bath buns for jane austen day

you guys!! it is jane austen day!! since i didn't have time to get to the cobb at lyme regis, i won't be jumping off some stairs and busting my head open for your entertainment. you'll just have to settle for some vicarious bath buns.  

the linked recipe is kinda odd (it's from 1769, what do you expect?) and includes a substitution for caraway confits. (smash caraway seeds with sugar. it works. )

there's quite a bit of butter.

and you mix in the yeast with the flour without letting it prove first.

kneading time is approx 10 min.

here's a tip i've probably mentioned before. if you don't have a proving oven,  just use your oven light. works just as well.

in the two hours of proving time, you can do all sorts of austen related things. like...

laugh at the time you were in bath talking about piss dungeons and you didn't realize that this lady was eavesdropping until you got home and saw the picture.

take a picture of your cat's butt and say that it's a good imitation of emma woodhouse. (does anyone really like emma as a character?)

take a picture of some austen books with a persimmon next to them because, hey, that seems like a regency era fruit. also, orange really brings out that lady's necklace on the cover of sense and sensibility.

ultimately, however, you will just watch the 2009 version of "emma" because even though you hate emma woodhouse as a character (stupid catbutt that she is), you are in love with romola garai. plus oh my gaaaaawd jonny lee miller should dress in regency costume more often (yeah, you first noticed him as sick boy and, in fact, always refer to him as sick boy but mmm hmmm. period dramz suit the man.)

but you are REALLY watching this mini series again to look at blake ritson's profile. (damn, blake ritson could be the emo british rock boy of YOUR DREEEEEEEEAMZZZZ when his hair is right. also dat profile. amirite (sorite))

ahem. anyway, there is a second rise that takes about an hour.

that doesn't give you a lot of time to futz about but if you are me, you will take possession of a surprise knock off OWL SPIRIT HOODIE which is quite jane austen in its way as they are always wearing silly hats in the movie adaptations.

also, you can do some handcrafts. ladies are ALWAYS embroiderin' and shit in austen books. i fixed this xmas card.

the glitter queen always strikes this time of year.

anyway, after about 10-15 min of baking, BATH BUNS!

they are freakin' delicious. eat them with lemon curd! eat them plain! w/e, just make some and HAPPY JANE AUSTEN DAY!

imma go look at blake ritson's profile again.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

jane's orange slice chocolate chip cookies

just last week padre reminded me of one of the coolest things. every december my adopted grandma used to make an assortment of delicious cookies which she packed into a shirt box and delivered to our house.  how could i forget that?! how!?!

anyway, the one cookie that my brother and i most looked forward to was the orange slice and chocolate chip kind. 

yeah, orange slices. the candy kind. like these.

i'm certain that if you grew up in the southern u.s. or have a southern grandma (adopted or not), then you know of orange slice cookies. it's a staple. (or at least it was a staple).  i'm not sure if you were lucky enough to have chocolate mixed in with the orange though.

besides the taste, what makes these so special is the stained glass quality of the orange candy. i used to hold them up to a light like this:

so i would be sure to get a more orange flavored cookie. the one above i would have left for my brother but this one:

awwwww yeah. that is the damn ticket.


1 cup (2 sticks) butter

¾ cup granulated sugar

¾ cup packed light brown sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 cup (1/2 package) milk chocolate chips

1 cup orange slices, cut into small pieces

Heat oven to 375°.  Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla in a large bowl with mixer 

until creamy.  Add eggs, beat well. Stir together flour, baking soda, and salt. Gradually add to butter 

mixture, beating until well blended. Stir in chocolate chips and orange pieces. Drop by teaspoons onto 

ungreased cookie sheet.  Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned.  Cool slightly and remove from 

cookie sheet to wire rack.  Cool completely.  Makes 5 dozen cookies.

Tuesday, December 09, 2014

i guess i'm in retreat mode...

...because i'm not capable of reading the news right now. i reached my absolute limit today. (if you know me irl, you probably did not think that was possible.)

that is why you will now see the dread can o'cran below. it is innocuous. 

leff and i finished up thanksgiving this week by eating the veg we didn't make on the proper thursday.

i recently watched "only lovers left alive" four times. (i will probably watch it forty more.) this is not einstein's spooky action at a distance. it is a spooky old tree.

presents have started to arrive. padre and my step mom sent the grand tour  and jens sent the lovely postcard

which had a bear as part of its cancellation mark.

so cute.

Monday, December 08, 2014

it is gross outside

here are two pictures from earlier in the day when it was not quite so disgusting.

Friday, December 05, 2014

Sunday, November 30, 2014

leff got me a holiday present!

hey! i got a new kindle for the holidays! 

as you can see, samuel whiskers (on the left) was, to quote leff "quite pathetic" in his old age. so instead of letting me read mr. whiskers/my old kindle completely into the ground, leff got me a new one. HOORAY!!

i must say, rockmetteller todd is a much sharper and zippier little chap. plus, the capacity! PHWAR! (i have only uploaded 45 books (SO FAR) but mr. todd was all NBD *PEW PEW* (ok, that was a fib. there were no lasers.))

anyone taking bets on how long it is until poor rockmetteller has to be retired? hahahaha haaa i read too much.