YAY LEFF DOES NOT HAVE CANCER

ha, see, being freaked out about leff having skin cancer was one of the things that i didn't want to discuss in public. HOWEVER now that he has been to the doc and everything checks out, i can totally tell you YAY LEFF DOES NOT HAVE CANCER HERE ARE SOME OWLS to help us celebrate.

have i ever mentioned how crazy shit just goes down when i am in seattle? things so odd that leff is always compelled to say "i have been this way so many times without incident and yet, when you're with me, EVERYTHING WEIRD happens."

what can i say? if you would like to almost have a run in with someone who is (badly) singing screaming a dub song while swinging a tennis racquet in a threatening manner while he wobbles in and out of oncoming traffic, come with me. i'll show you where these freaks live. (actually, they will just find me and scream. it's what they do.) then we can figure out who tooted.

you gotta' zoom on that photo but one of the turnstiles does, indeed, say "who tooted?". apologies for not getting a better photo but there were moss people and tourists galore screeching and lurching near there. and it had already been a long day.

which is why HAHAHA YES SURPRISE ABANDONED SHIP DRILL ON THE FERRY jesus.

here's what happens during an abandoned ship drill should you want deets (hi, pip!). the cap'n comes on his intercom that he normally uses to tell people to stop smoking and announces YO DAWGS ABANDONED SHIP DRILL THERE WILL BE SIRENS AND THE COAST GUARD THIS BOAT'S GONNA' STOP IN THE WATER

and then, yeah, there are sirens that make babies cry. and it's loud and horrible and it's a good thing that i brought headphones because watching moms dance around with their squalling progeny in time to robyn is actually a good time.

this is followed by a request for volunteers (not me, thanks. i just had lunch.) to put on life vests and, um, assemble at designated assembly points. these people will then form a line. a hand goes on the shoulder of the person in front of you. and then, of course, all of them thar people think it's a grand old time and do a sort of conga step. (melody's echo chamber this time though.)

everyone else rushes out to the deck to see the coast guard boats that have pulled up next to the ferry so they can take pictures and put it on instagram. "i went to seattle and all i got was this shitty overexposed snap of a coast guard drill."

this whole thing takes about five minutes. naturally, everyone who has your number will call while it's happening and you will have to explain why you're screaming over sirens. OMG ARE YOU GOING TO DIE

no, it's just a drill but OMG LEFF DOESN'T HAVE CANCER you will scream. I WILL CALL YOU LATER WHEN I... and then you hit the dead spot with the wifi. happens every fucking time.

anyway, to reiterate LEFF DOES NOT HAVE CANCER also I DON'T HAVE TO GO BACK TO SEATTLE UNTIL LATER THIS MONTH i'm not sure which is the better news. HAHA I AM KIDDING OF COURSE IT IS A CANCER FREE LEFF THAT IS THE BEST