Wednesday, August 01, 2012

10 states in 7 days-- wyoming ---> colorado ---> kansas

did i not tell you yesterday that there was a real key to my room? so weird.


anyway, the day dawned HOTHOTHOT in wyoming which, i am sorry that the heat wave and drought are happening in that part of the country but after three years of no summer, i have to admit, i was enjoying the fuck out of it, my sunburn and the heat rash on my hands.

what was not so enjoyable was the bagel shop incident but, whatever, it is over now and not a very important story to tell. i will relate a conversation that i had with a barista in a drive up coffee stand (to which i walked up to) regarding the nonexistent bagel shop's location.

me: hello! i would like a doppio, please.
coffee man: a what?
me: could i have two shots of espresso, please?
coffee man: you can have as many shots as you'd like.
me: then i would like two shots of espresso, please.

you can imagine how good the directions to the nonexistent bagel shop were after that beginning exchange, huh?  you will not be surprised that this ended up being my breakfast.


but onward! through wyoming! 



i was starting to hit my road trip stride here. where things just...burn off. 



you know what i'm talking about, right? ok, i will explain a bit. a long time ago when i lived in tennessee and would start to get overwhelmed with life, i would sometimes just....leave. i would get in my car, not tell anyone where i was going and just....drive. (no one would notice that i was gone for three or four days as i am, and still remain, everyone's favorite stray cat.)

i would usually end up in georgia or north carolina but when things would get REALLY bad, i would drive to texarkana. it was a long drive in flat country where the end destination was...nothing. and in the midst of all that nothing, my head would always clear. my eyes would be dry and bloodshot from driving with the windows down and my throat would be sore from singing along with old country songs on the am stations.

i would usually sneak into outdoor hotel pools (i could not afford to stay) and jump into water that was the temperature of blood. then, since i would not have anything to change into and also only money enough for gas, i would sleep in a wal mart parking lot in wet clothes until i was rested enough to drive again. for sustenance, i would eat a cold tin of ravioli with my fingers. (i kept a can opener in my car but no fork. *shrug* i have always been a bit on the feral side. you are not surprised.)

anyway, i have needed a good head clearing for a while. a lot of shit has gone down these past few years in washington so you can imagine how much lighter i was beginning to feel when we hit territory like this.


i didn't have a tin of ravioli though. heh.

one of our main destinations of the day was laramie, wyoming. i was quite surprised by how much i liked this little town. there is a really great train bridge with lots of nice tagging.








and, haha! here is where british television started making itself known.


we had lunch at a great little vegetarian restaurant called sweet melissa.


if you find yourself in this corner of the world, do yourself a favor and eat here. the staff is exceptional (and hermahgawd, so hot!) and the food is aces. it's located near this bike in the sky. (which got this song stuck in my head because, haha! i was time traveling as well as clearing my head.)


oh, btw. this is what wyoming looks like through my sunglasses.




hahaha! more tele! (leff will really like this picture.)


anyways, we ended up in colorado again. and, after nearly getting killed a few times, we finally arrived at, ha! the celestial seasonings factory. I AM NOT KIDDING!



pictures were not allowed on the tour so i will bullet this mother for you:

* free samples (DO NOT DRINK TOO MANY IF YOU ARE ON A LONG HAUL DRIVE!)
* hair nets for all, beard nets for some
* super awesome mint room that SMELLS SO GOOD!
* BWAHAHAHAH A SPECIAL TEABAGGING AREA! *deaders*
* exeunt through the gift shop


do this tour if you are in the area. is free! also, hairnets.

but one cannot mooch around a tea factory forever so ONWARD to the kit carson carousel!

let me tell you, this was weeeeird. it was windy and you could smell the wildfires wanting to happen.




but that was not exactly the strange part. the awesome kit carson carousel is located on a fairground that, according to signage, was supposed to be deserted while we were there. buuut, it wasn't? at least, not entirely. people were driving their huge trucks slowly and aimlessly through the gravel parking lot leaving small dust storms in their wake.

still not the weird part. see, while walking toward the carousel, we passed, i don't even know what. there was a sno cone booth where some people were just...standing. and there was, like, some sort of ring toss where people were just...standing. 

i mean it, the smell of fire and dust was all around and it was eerily quiet except for the wind. no one was talking? and they just...stared at us and didn't say anything.

"this is weird." i whispered to my step mom as i walked toward the wooden animals. "i am going to take some pictures of the carousel." and so i did.






and then, when i looked up, the family was gone?!? and, i am telling you, i panicked because my id and monies and everything were all in the car and i didn't even know what state i was in. and the zombie fair people were starting to smile at me and were kinda...starting to lurch in my direction?

so i called leff. and went to look at some rabbits?!? more zombie people were milling around not talking and judging small mammals.


somehow that was calming and i was able to find the fam. and then scene. because we left the zombie fairgrounds. I WILL NEVER SEE "CARNIVAL OF SOULS" THE SAME WAY!!


we stopped at a dollar general so my dad could get some potato chips and across the street, there was this?


id even k. i just know that i was really glad to get to the hotel where my shoes clashed with the carpet.


and where i could walk to a gas station to get emergency crackers and dr pepper 10 for dinner. IT WAS A FEAST OF well, not strength. actually, it wasn't really a feast either. and i had to act like i was staying with someone (open door, wildly brandishing emergency crackers, laughing like an idiot and saying loudly to no one"I GOT DINNER! HAHAHAHA!" *slam door bolt all locks* because some dude kinda' followed me back to the hotel. ugh, the fun of walking alone at night near the interstate in the middle of nowhere.)

TOMORROW!: kansas ---> oklahoma. THERE IS A CATHEDRAL IN KANSAS! I DID NOT KNOW THIS UNTIL THIS WEEK!

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