uk trip, part two, autumn edition--- cardiff, day nine

cardiff morning. CARDIFF MORNING! it was coldcoldcold on cardiff morning BUT who gives a rat's ass, right? leff had a primark coat, i had a girl coffee and WE WERE GOING BACK TO CARDIFF!

i won't lie. we were afraid of being stuck on another five hour train ride like last time so we were watching the boards like hawks at paddington before our train was announced. 

we shouldn't have worried. this was, perhaps, the least noteworthy train i have ever been on. and, trust me, I HAVE BEEN ON A LOT OF BRITISH TRAINS.

ok, leff would disagree because of the loudly whispering germans behind us for part of the trip. i say, whatever. we both took a nap. naps cancel out loud whispers. A TRAIN FULL OF NAPS IS A TRAIN FULL OF WIN

shed met us at on the platform YAY SHED HI HEY HELLO SHED and took us to our hotel so we could do early check in and drop off luggage. HI HEY HELLO BLU YOU HAVE NEW CARPET THIS TIME

BUT YOUR MARVELOUS VIEW IS STILL MARVELOUS THANK YOU

first stop of the day after the magic rousta roundabout? awwww yeah, st fagans, bitches! THEY GOTS A WICKERMAN JESUS CHRIST

this is not the wickerman.

this isn't either. ugh, you are so silly today!

no, what i am trying to show you here is that st fagans was crazy into halloween! HOORAY!!

the turog bakery was not but OMG YOU CANNOT HAVE EVERYTHING THEY HAVE BREAD WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT BREAD IS AWESOME

a new chapel had been rebuilt since the last time we were here. it had a smiley skull

and i sonic youthed a candle but it turned out all blurry so you will just have to take my word for it.

then hippety hop over to celtic village to check on THE WICKER MAN. not the wicker man ok, this is a celt head.

HERE IS THE WICKER MAN!!

well, ok part of him. he wasn't getting all burninated until after we were gone so, you know, he was under construction. the dude who was building THE WICKER MAN was awesome though and told us about how they had once shown some really cool, creepy animation in one of the round buildings in celtic village. the projector was placed so that the movie was where a fire would have normally been. HOW KICK ASS I LOVE YOU ST FAGANS!

anyway, more walking to more coolness. shed told me that these british thistley things are a used a lot in flower arrangements. but in my hands, it became a weapon! PEW PEW PEW I MADE IT SHOOT LASERS

i am lying. no lasers. but OW there were thorns and thistle thing revenged itself upon me by thorning me in the thumb. stupid thistle thing being all hurty! I AM GLAD THERE ARE RESTRICTIONS AGAINST BRINGING YOU BACK INTO THE COUNTRY WITH ME jerk.

oh wait! how could i forget? YEAH THE SUN WAS OUT IN CARDIFF

wales is gorgeous. make all the sheep jokes you want, wales will still be beautiful and your jokes will still be stale.

sooooooooooo, so. SO! MANOR HOUSE. there is a MANOR HOUSE/CASTLE THING. i had not seen it before as it had been closed for repairs the last time i was in the 'diff but IT WAS OPEN THIS TIME! (you guys know i am SO ABOUT grand old beautiful places, yeah? i blame fairly close proximity to this place growing up. on french club trips (YES FRENCH CLUB SHUT UP FRENCH CLUB HELPED ME TO BE ABLE TO ORDER FOOD IN PARIS SO NER) to biltmore, my bfs and i would play like we owned the place. heh. *scuffing foot*)

AVAST A CASTLE

WITH A FLUTEY MAN

AND SOME GOLDEN BALLS

look, i almost died when we got to this. IT IS SO PRETTY EVEN IN AUTUMN OMG IMAGINE THIS IN THE SPRING ALL OF THE BAREFOOT RUNNING YOU COULD DO THROUGH THIS JUST LIKE SOME MERCHANT IVORY LADY HAHAHAH hah hahah *ahem*

so, like, i have no pictures from the inside of this incredible place because, no photography allowed. I AM SURE THAT SHED HAS SOME THOUGH because OMG SHED OF COURSE HE TOOK PICTURES i think he also touched some tapestry that was off limits because OF COURSE OMG SHED YOU ARE GOING TO GET US KICKED OUT OF ALL THE PLACES ONE DAY heee heeeeeee heeeeeeee

OH! one last thing! in the drawing room place thing in the manor house? they gots this HUGE old skool sound system. i TOTES want to play old 78s on it and do the charleston some time while drinking, idk, gin rickeys. WHY NOT IT IS NOT LIKE THIS IS SOME SORT OF THING I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO DAMN YOU BILTMORE HOUSE FOR GETTING MY HOPES UP sigh....

OH HI HEY HELLO THERE PURPLE GLOVE I WAVED BACK AT YOU

um, for some reason one of us, PROBABLY ME YES FINE, thought it would be fun to make a horror movie about leaves. (we were getting hit in the face by leaves a lot. ok I was getting hit in the face by leaves a lot) i mean, HOW STUPID but HAHA IF A LEAF HAD A SKULL ON IT AND IT HIT YOU IN THE FACE YOU WOULD SCREAM YOU WOULD DON'T DENY

so that's how i found myself sitting on a bench making this with a mechanical pencil and a portable screwdriver that shed had in his bag.

yeah, not scary. OR IS IT

no, it's not.

shed needed to drop his car off so we could start drinking. HA IT IS VACATION OK I DRINK ON VACATION on the way to ponty, we passed a bridge for dormice and i almost squeaked because I LOVE DORMICE and these particular ones HAVE A BRIDGE SO CUTE i imagined them saying goodbye to their families in the morning and then bundling up in little scarves with a lunchbox full of pumpkin and berries and seeds and then, idk, falling asleep in the middle of the bridge on the way to work BECAUSE DORMICE ARE SO CUTE WHEN THEY SLEEP

just, ok, please to watch the video to see the bridge now thanks.

oh yes! before we dropped off the car, we stopped by the stone circle in ponty. shed says that these are only victorian but WHATEVER OLD ENOUGH AWESOME ENOUGH RIGHT i pretended like i was a druid but no one knew that i was doing it. (ok, they probably guessed.)

i was so druid i magiced a deer onto the rocking stone. ya huh. i've gots the power.

omg! there is a dragon face near the stones! I KICKED THE DRAGON IN THE EYE AND DID NOT BREAK MY TOE I AM AWESOME AND BRAVE AND EPIC

but back to ponty! this light! PWAR!

we went to the otley. I LOVE THE OTLEY and HOLY HELL we were so lucky because we got there at the end of A BEER FESTIVAL * SHRIEKING IN SHEER HAPPINESS*

we also had lunch. i did not order the boy-o burger.

no, i had an o5?

and, UNGH THIS CHICKEN PIE

and, um, an oxymoron?

and part of an o-garden and a bombshell. OH and part of shed's steak and ale pie which was, truly, well steaky.

and then shed tried to make the leaf be all scary but HA it just does not work. LEAF HORROR MOVIE PRODUCTION CANCELLED

properly buzzed, we hopped the train to the 'diff.

because shed had brought us a bottle of jeeves and that needed to be drunk. A BOTTLE OF JEEVES IT IS STORE BRAND PIMM'S AAAAAAAAAAAAAH this is not the jeeves. this is a "welcome back to l'hotel" snacks!

this is also not jeeves, it is the marvelous sunset as seen from our room.

now THIS is the jeeves!! IT IS WOOSTER SAUCE

so yeah, we killed that bottle and WHAT THERE IS NO MORE BOOZE IN THE HOTEL so then, so then, HAHAHAHA WE WENT TO MAYBE FOUR DIFFERENT SUPERMARCHES trying to find decent beer.

at one shed was all "THIS BEER SUCKS" and we eyed up the pimm's behind the counter but WOW TOO MANY POUNDS IT WAS COSTING so FORWARD to another store where alcohol sales stopped at 8pm and i was all "BEER IS NOT ALCOHOL I DEMAND TO HAVE SOME BOOZE" and then at the next stop we got CANNED PIMMS AND G&T which was good because HA WE HAD TO WALK ACROSS THE STREET TO THE NEXT STORE OH NOES WE MIGHT GET SOBER but it was there that we found the beers that were JUUUUST RIGHT. and that beer was HAHAH CIDRE

FUNNY STORY in the uk YOU CAN OPENLY DRINK ON THE STREETS HOLY SHIT so we were shotgunning cidre on the streets of cardiff BECAUSE WE ARE SO CLASSY and then we walked past these cops and leff and i were all HOLY SHIT WE ARE GOING TO GET ARRESTED FUCKFUCK but shed just kept drinking as he walked past them and it was then that i realized that i was far, FAR away from home and that i never wanted to leave.

ANOTHER FUNNY STORY in the lobby, cans in coat pockets, right? because, well, because. but then i was laughing so hard in the lift ("NO YOU'RE THE TART OF THE DAY") that i spilled cidre in my pocket. and then it reminded me of "grandpa in my pocket" and i almost spilled the rest of my drink from all the lols.

OH CARDIFF YOU ARE THE GREATEST

TOMORROW:  leff and i do the 'diff on our own as shed had plans. SPILLERS SPIIIILLLEEEERSSSSSS and some other things you will want to read. LEFF CITADELLED ME AAAAAAH! check back soon!