uk trip, part two, autumn edition-- london, day eight

aw, our last day in london on this trip. it's always so sad to know you're leaving london. UGH I AM SAD NOW BECAUSE I AM NOT THERE. but as there was not enough time to let depression get in the way, and, also, HA THE NEXT DAY WE WENT TO CARDIFF AND THAT IS ALWAYS THE GREATEST, i pulled myself together and we headed to the city.

this is funny. every time we've gotten close to the city, i've had "california love" stuck in my head. CAN YOU DIG IIIIIIT?! (i change the lyrics to "in the city/the city of compton london" though. fwiw.)

the city is old. like, old old. it has lots and lots of alleys

and crazy little roman streets. I LOVE IT! I FOUND LITTLE BRITAIN!

but HA to be honest, we DID get lost. your a-zed will only get you so far here.

we were headed to st. bart's for a bake sale at the pathology museum. GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT we couldn't find the front entrance. THIS is how we entered st bart's campus.

ha! TOTALLY the wrong way but, you know, it was a way. besides, it's always kinda' fun to not know where you are. that way you can feel all stealth and awesome and spy. plus you get to talk to the nice man at the security booth who will tell how to take the back way past some helix murals.

you know how i like talking to the nice men in the security booths. IT IS MY M.O.

after many long halls past doors we were not supposed to see, we found this sign. HOORAY! WE WERE IN THE RIGHT BUILDING!

near the sign, we found a roman sarcophagus just, you know, hanging out.

the best part was this sign, however.

you vandals!

so this bake sale! I THINK IT WAS THE GREATEST BAKE SALE THAT I HAVE EVER SEEN! all of the pastry was lovingly shaped into diseases and medical conditions. PERFECT FOR HALLOWEEN!!

ok fine, here is your WARNING THIS MIGHT BE GROSS TO SOME OF YOU. i happen to think it was incredible and SOOOO well executed and lovely. but, whatever, proceed with caution.

there was a LOT of press at the event and we were there before everything was set up!

seriously, SUTURED CAKE!

HEMORRHOID CUPCAKES!

THESE WERE STDELICIOUS!

i mean ISN'T THIS AWESOME?! i will hush now. LOOK AT IT LOOK AT THESE THINGS THEY WERE ALL EDIBLE!

here is some chap's score. you KNOW i can't resist a british man with box of hemorrhoid cupcakes, right? HE HAD PILES OF THEM * ba doom ching*

anyway, i got a death cupcake

and leff sprang for a platelet cake.

and, let me tell you this, even if there is NOT a bake sale on PLEASE GO VISIT THE PATHOLOGY MUSUEM!  the specimens are SUPERB and the space itself is just delicious.

also, i have a feeling something great will be happening while you are there.

st. bart's is just full of surprises!

after eating our cupcakes, leff and i took a break to find our next destination in the map. HI HEY HELLO NHS SIGN

HI HEY HELLO GLOVE I WAVED BACK TO YOU

smithfield market is VERY NEARBY!

it's still in operation and HA still painted in its previctorian splendor.

it was closed by the time we arrived, however. i am fine with this though because i was getting pretty worn down at this point in the vacation.

leff and i did a bit more wandering and guess who we found, YES THE GOLDEN BOY OF PYE CORNER!

he is on BWAHAHAHAHAHAH COCK LANE BWAHAHAHAHA!

and around the corner from the little gluttony chap is one of the london drinking fountains. (a bit more info about this particular fountain can be found here.)

REPLACE THE CUP 'cause if you don't, you might end up at the old bailey. i mean, it IS just across the street.

and, yes, before you ask OF COURSE I HUMMED THE THEME TO RUMPOLE OKAY OF COURSE I DID. god i am such a brit tv nerd.

SPEAKING OF BRITISH TV! ST BART'S!

you thought i'd been remiss in not mentioning this as a "sherlock" location (series 2, epi 3). YOU WOULD BE WRONG SMARTASS! HERE IS SOME SHERLOCK GRAFFITI FOR YOU!

it says "we believe in sherlock" in case you are having trouble reading it. no, i did not write it, i found it.

BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE! leff and i ALSO WENT TO POIROT'S APARTMENTS!!

we had been meaning to do this for years and YES OF COURSE I SANG "DUH DUH DUHDUHDUUUH, IT'S POIROT IT'S POIROT". you know me too well.

but did you know that we went to eat my pies? YOU DIDN'T HA! but now you do. chotda had recommended this place to us and NOW I AM RECOMMENDING IT TO YOU! delicious DELICIOUS!! and the lady at the stand was SO NICE! you MUST get one of their pies when you are in london. I MEAN IT!

leff and i split a scotch egg and a sausage roll. LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE! they were just as tasty.

and, let me tell you, they served us well. little did we know that we would be needing sustenance to get us through BRUTALIST HELL.

welcome to the terrordome barbican, kids. feel like you're in the middle of "a clockwork orange"? YOU BLOODY WELL SHOULD IT'S BLEAK.

why were we there? um, barbican rain room. HOWEVER this was the queue to get in. two hour wait, i think?

and i was already worn out from the day's activities plus the general WHAT THE FUCKery of walking around barbican. so leff and i walked to the exit of the rain room and i took this picture

and this video.

and then stood in the nearby fountain room

just to say that i did.

oh, come on. you KNOW you love it when i give you alternate views of shit. EVERYBODY'S been to the damn rain room by now. NO ONE ELSE is going to just show you shitty images of the exit. yeah, you know it's rock.

right, let's get back to the barbican? it's just so. erg.

and they have the saddest waterfall in the world.

these gardens are nearby. i mean, i get it. i know what they were trying to do, it's pretty nice but I WOULD NOT GO DOWN THERE WITH YOU EVEN IF I LIKED AND TRUSTED YOU AND WE WERE DATING BECAUSE THERE IS ONLY ONE EXIT.

i like exits. exits make me feel safe. I HAVE ISSUES OK

were you aware? old tombstones here were used as material for benches.

and wallside

is, indeed, beside the wall. THE ROMAN WALL. i fucking love the roman wall.

i DO NOT, however, love this walkway. CAN YOU HEAR MY CITY RADAR GOING OFF RUN AWAY THERE ARE NO EXITS AT ALL AND NO ONE CAN REALLY SEE YOU HERE

ugh, look. i know it's pretty safe there. i just, well, ISSUES and i did not have xanax. also, those walkways were in front of people's flats and, wow, it felt like we were intruding. IT WAS TOO CLOSE TO SOMEONE'S HOME!

when i am loaded up on antianxiety pills, i will go back to barbican. NOT WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER XANAX THOUGH!

to calm down, leff and i went to the british library. you know i love the treasures. i said HI HEY HELLO to my favorite book of hours before leff and i went to the shop to get a copy of the new agatha christie reprint.

then we had coffee near newton and watched british intellectual boys. sigh.....i could be so happy here. heh.

it had gotten much colder that day and leff had not packed a coat. so, after packing for cardiff, we headed to both tk maxx and primark. OMG DO NOT DO THIS ON A FRIDAY NIGHT ALL OF LONDON IS FUCKING THERE.

i had to take a break between stores because it had been hours since i had eaten. after a kebab (OMG YOU KNEW I HAD TO COMPLETE THE TRIFECTA (fish and chips, curry, kebab)) and a stylish diet coke

i felt better. and we found a jacket for leff. (he later left this in cardiff but WHATEVER he was warm for a while at least, right?) i also got a pair of fake eyelashes. WHAT HALLOWEEN SHUT UP!

TOMORROW:  TRAIN TO CARDIFF! SHEEEEED!! ST FAGAN'S!! OMG WE GOT SO DRUNK AND WENT TO ALL THE SUPERMARCHES!!