an open letter to memphis

dear memphis,

please make my apartment stop smelling like gasoline. seriously, this is not cool. i gave up huffing eons ago.

also, can you do something about that pothole on summer blvd?? it's pretty big and it knocked my car out of alignment. also, i'm sure it wasn't so great for my front tire which was kind of low to begin with.

while we're at it, would you give the ramses statues at the pyramid back to the british museum? they really want them back and, you know, i saw what you guys did to that hieroglpyhic block. it's at amum and well, it's full of little holes since you stuck it in a fountain.

you thought i'd forgotten about that didn't you?

come on, give them back. this whole memphis--->egypt thing is really played out.

oh, and those commericals for not killing your baby? they're really dumb. like i want to see "good shake" (some girly bootie shakin' at the club) vs "bad shake" (some girly shakin' her baby) first thing in the morning. what ad agency sold you those? and what, pray tell, did the losing ads look like??

thanks ever so much,

rakka