Thursday, November 24, 2011

thanksgiving afternoon! *food coma!*

let me give you a tip. if you want to survive thankgiving, it's best not to fuck around with portion control in regard to booze. don't futz about with nice glasses, go for the plastic tumbler.

it will make things easier for everyone. another tip, wait until everyone is sloshed and then tell them that it's a premade holiday.

then get them progressively drunker and start subtracting side dishes from the menu. NO ONE WILL CARE! IT WILL BE A THANKSGIVING MIRACLE!

oh, hell. here's a third tip. if you take a can of this shit

add a jalapeno

and a splash of oj and boil

you will have the greatest cranberry sauce EVAR!

fourth tip:  this is how you make green beans.

seriously, no one gives a shit as long as there is...what's that? yes! wine!! there it is in the background!

and if they do care? kick them the fuck out. ungrateful bastards!

hope your hoildays were as great drunken as mine. now leave me alone. i've got the rest of the afternoon booked on my couch.


jrhyley said...

I'm with you 126%, until we come to the stovetop stuffing. Why not just eat the box it came in? [shudder]

r4kk4 said...

Leff likes it? *shoulder shrug*

I didn't eat much stuffing because, you know, carbs, etc. I did eat ALL OF THE GREEN BEANS though.

jrhyley said...

Remind me sometime to make some actual dressing/stuffing for you guys. Thanksgiving is all about carbs, woman! Cakes and pies and cookies and cocktails. And stuffing. Mmm.

girlnblack77 said...

I'm borrowing your menu next year. It looks more fun, and your fridge can't be as slammed as mine right now.

r4kk4 said...

I will accept your offer! (I've made stuffing before but after this year I just couldn't be arsed.)

Oh, I'm too depressed for carbs. hahaha! All I do now is sleep and not eat. (I've slept 24 HOURS IN THE PAST TWO DAYS! 0_0 )

Groc said...

The awesome! I hearts.

How odd: rhy is part of the capica (spelling?)

r4kk4 said...

it's also the surname of gruff rhys!

r4kk4 said...

ac! your comment showed up in the wrong place!

basically, yeah. i've had thanksgivings where i've made everything and i was miserable. cans and boxes from now on!